Fallout 4: Paying the Piper

Piper and I had our first fight today.  It would be nice if she told me what it was about, but as far as I know, everything was fine, and then BAM! she just stopped giving me food.

I had wanted to finish Nick’s quest before getting involved with Piper, but I got stuck on his last mission, out near Quincy (or, as it is known in the original Algonquin, “Place of the Pain Bringers”) so I figured: what the hell, let’s go travel with Piper for a bit.

I mean, yeah, she does do the annoying hand gesture thing, and really she just reminds me of somebody’s unbalanced aunt, but after all, when I first met Liddie-Bug, I called her a “frost-maddened cow,” so you never know.

I walked into Piper’s office.

“We heading out?” she asked.  I said yes.  She lit a cigarette, took a deep drag, struck a pose, and said “let’s go” as she breathed out smoke.

Now that’s my kinda girl.

Funny enough, I don’t think I’ve seen her smoke since.  But she drinks like a fish –

Buy a girl … um … another drink?

And smokes like a chimney:

She smokes other people.

Well, yeah – I gave her a flamethrower.  When a girl dressed in leather and swilling vodka directly from the bottle asks you for something, the correct answer is always yes, even if she is asking for your internal organs.  ‘Cause she’s gonna get what she wants, and that way it hurts less.

Homicidal and alcoholic – I’ve found my soul mate.  Especially when she gives me candy every time I initiate dialogue with her.  I’m not sure how a bottle of sugar-jacked Nuka Cola “literally saved her life once,” but I’m sure it’s an interesting story, and one she’ll probably tell me while we’re trying to sneak through a Super Mutant infested fortress.

Timing – not really Piper’s thing.

She makes up for it with poise.

Like wanting to chill while sitting in radioactive water filled with ghoul corpses.

OK, I’ll admit, she is a little … absent minded, considering how often says “hey – did you ever wonder about …oh, right – shhhh…” while in sneak mode.  But she can’t help it – she’s programmed that way.

Also, she does tend to get in the way a lot, but she does look darned cute while doing it.  I mean –

She can’t hack terminals.
or craft anything.


but you know, really, it’s that constant curiosity that keeps a relationship interesting.

Which is why I was so concerned when she stopped giving me food.  What did I do to piss her off, besides push her away from the crafting station before she killed us both?

Well, … okay, maybe it’s because she only offers food once per day.


So I waited, and sure enough, the next day she said I looked like I could use a pick-me-up, but nothing appeared in my inventory.  Was she teasing me?  Minx.

I really didn’t wanna reload from a previous save, because I’d run around taking screenshots for my “It’s Electric” post.  “Ugh,” she said.  “Pictures pictures pictures.  Is this normal for other journalists?”

“Yeah – kinda.”

But you know how it is with relationships – once she got mad, I couldn’t help but get a little angry myself.  I wandered through a radiation zone to see what was in the shack inside; turned out to be a ghoul doctor, which was fortunate, because now I had all this radiation.  Kind of a revenue generating scheme, there.

A couple of aspirin and sum Nyquil calmed me down, so I thought I’d talk it out with Piper – and also I was hoping that dragging her through Chernobyl hadn’t pissed her off.

I pressed E and she gave me a Nuka-Cola.

“I just wanted to check in and see how our relationship was going,”  I said.

“We’re fine, Blue.  Stop asking all the time.”

“It’s just … I really wanna get the cutscence.”

She popped some bubblegum and reloaded her weapons.  “Stop trying to live your life for an epilogue you won’t survive to see,” she said.  “Also, here’s some sugar bombs.  Those things literally saved my life.”



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