The Space Bankers

This blog will be my final record.  Let them say what they will about me – lurid allegations regarding livestock abuse, rumors and innuendo so horrid no one will speak my name for a hundred years.  It won’t matter, because I said this first.

Kill the name, and the body will die.  The Egyptians knew that.  And the Romans.

Damnatio memoriae.  And so let it be.  They will lie to discredit my story.  Blood libel; it goes that far back – as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be.  Then and now.  Salt the fields.   Carthage to Cosby.  No one just disappears.  First they erase your name in time’s memory, convince the world you’re not worth worrying about.  When no one cares, anymore, then they come for you – and no one left will question, anymore, why you haven’t been heard from, what the trial verdict was, why a canvas bag was seen dumped into the Alviso slough one mighnight.  A missed hit on an Internet search database, nothing more.  I tell you now to pay no attention to the lies that will come.  I’m innocent1.  If tomorrow I am arrested, it is because today I told the truth.

They say the aliens came to teach us.  They say they built the pyramids, gave the Mayans advanced technology, and claimed to be the gods of the Sumerians.  Part of this is true.
They did visit Earth, at the dawn of civilization – but it wasn’t the Egyptians they taught, nor the Mayans.  The pyramids are proof of nothing except that von Daniken had a limited imagination and even weaker math skills.
This is interstellar technology?
By Tilemahos Efthimiadis from Athens, Greece [CC BY 2.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons
It makes no sense to suggest that these aliens simultaneously:
1.  Wanted to give us something so mind-blowing advanced that it was obviously alien technology and
2.  It looked just like something a fairly smart primitive person could invent himself.
Obviously these hypothetical aliens must have an anthropology even more advanced than their physics if they were able to make their contributions so close to coincidental discovery.  A little less advanced, and we’d never be able to tell it wasn’t of native origin.  Any more advanced and that lucky civilization would have taken over the world rather than doing what they actually did, which was going extinct and leaving all these mysterious ruins all over the place.
Think about it – what if, instead of a crappy little battery, the aliens had given the Egyptians, say … assault rifles?  Remember, these are the guys who thought chariots were pretty hot tech.
Mk. IV “Cobra” from HoTep Martin

By w:Ippolito Rosellini, Ippolito Rosellini on the Franco-Tuscan Expedition of 1828 [CC BY-SA 3.0 (, GFDL ( or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

You can imagine what they would have done with a howitzer.  Antony and Cleopatra … well, there wouldn’t have been a Cleopatra, because she was Greek, and the Egyptians would have conquered the world a thousand years before that.

Any primitive tribe that was given, as von Daniken seems to think, something so astronomically advanced as to be beyond Earthly invention would have used that technology to take over the forest, the continent, and eventually the world.

So, if we want to know who the aliens really visited, all we have to do is look at who rules the world today.

Trump ftaghn

Forget peyote and pyramids … we were visited by the Space Bankers.

Obviously, 10,000 years ago, ancient aliens made contact with a primitive tribe of White Republican accountants dwelling somewhere on the shore of the Thames.  The aliens taught them the secrets of double-entry bookkeeping and usurious interest, and with that they have taken over the world.  Perhaps someday those ancient ones will return to teach them more …

… or perhaps the truth is far more sinister …

between climate change denial, gutting the EPA, and personally shooting Bambi’s mom, today’s GOP is busy trying to turn the world into an Indian casino ashtray, and doing a pretty good job.  In twenty, maybe thirty years, if we don’t take drastic action, the world may be uninhabitable, at least for humans2.

Add to this the fact that when the housing market crashed, the net result was a transfer of vast quantities of land into the hands of a few wealthy landowners.  From one perspective, the entire housing bubble was simply a massive land grab the scale of which we are only now beginning to perceive.  And one we cannot recover from, because the crippling levels of student debt the average American is lodestoning around means a mortgage is out of reach for any but the wealthy.

In effect, we have become a corporate feudalism – no money, no land, and, perhaps soon, no rights.  All of the money and influence have gone upward, into the hands of a few aristocrats who might as well be royalty, for all the difference democracy makes.
Which makes one wonder – not even King Saud can live on a planet suffering from runaway greenhouse effect.  And surely even he doesn’t think he’s proof against the mob rule that will follow a mass breakdown in society?  The 1% still have to live on the same planet as the rest of us.
Or do they?
And that, my friends … that is the secret they will jail me for.
The rich have no plans for this planet because they aren’t staying here.  All the money and power have filtered upward and distilled like nectar in a flower, and the rich are the fruit of that flower, the greatest acolytes of the Space Bankers.  Their time is drawing near, which is why income inequality has increased so rapidly.  The rich have dispossessed us of what we will no longer need, but they will – all of that stolen capital has gone to fund Elon Musk’s Space X, and the ships that will come after it, ships capable of reaching the Outer Planets.
The wealthy are building escape pods for the equally wealthy, and the rest of us will die on a sweltering earth as they ascend beyond the orbit of Jupiter to join the ranks of the Ascended Accountants.
It was always meant to be this way.  The entire plan of the Space Bankers was to set in motion a long term breeding and sorting program to create the finest financial minds Homo Sapiens could produce.  All the rest  … the rest of us – are merely failed byprodcuts of that experiment.
  1. Well, except for the indecent exposure charge, but that’s only because the cats don’t seem to understand that demanding they go in and out and in and out and in and out 13 times an hour doesn’t work well at 3 in the morning when I’m buck ass nekkid. Also, the drunk in public one. Drunk and disorderly. Drunk and orderly. Generally disorderly. But not the stuff about goats.
  2. I know that’s worse than even most climatologists say. Nature has a way of acting highly nonlinearly, and when we reach the tipping point, I think it will be faster and worse than anyone anticipated.

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