The Space Bankers Have Arrived

I’m glad someone’s taking the time to publish the important news:

Thunder Energies Corporation Announces Apparent Detection of Anomalous Entities in Tallahassee, Florida

Not a story I’d normally expect to see on Yahoo!, let alone Yahoo’s Finance page.  I guess they’ve realized the presidential campaign is just a front for the real powers that run the world, and are finally ready to print the Truth.

It’s probably because we finally have the proof.  This high-powered telescope was apparently able to take a direct observation of these “anomalous entities,” whatever they are … the article doesn’t actually say.  Nor does it say what makes them think they’re entities rather, than

thunder red 1

lens flare.

Although it would go a long way to explaining Florida.  And when you’re dealing with the kind of brilliant mind that can detect antimatter galaxies, probably explaining why orange blobs are entities, or what makes them anomalous, or why you even bothered turning your telescope toward another building rather than, say, the sky, is all just too trivial to bother explaining.  So I’m sure we should totally take this article at face value, especially because it was on Yahoo’s Finance page, even though, as far as I can tell, it doesn’t have anything to do with finance.

But what really worries me isn’t that we might be surrounded by invisible and yet ominously anomalous entities, but that they were found at a Tax Collector Building.

Thunder tax collector
Srsly.  “Tax Collector.”

Which … I just … shouldn’t the sign say IRS?  Or at least Merrill Lynch?

But I can’t worry about that right now, because this means we might have our first positive photographic proof of The Space Bankers!

Obviously, they’ve come to monitor the presidential election, possibly even intervening in world affairs to make sure Trump gets elected.

It’s the only explanation that makes sense.  Because if that’s not the explanation, the only alternative would be that some whackadoo paid Yahoo to run his story.

And that’s just crazy talk.

 

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